The Dire Wolf Returns, But Not Really
Not quite extinct, not quite accurate, but definitely lurking and looking for more life.
Let’s Play: Believe It Or Not
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“It seems like wolves could come into play at some point.” —Jason Simon
Yes. Wolves.
“I’ll huff… and I’ll puff…” and I’ll check out the de-extinct Dire Wolf.
How much of what we think we know is actually true?
Believe it or not, that’s our guiding question.
Monster Mania Reborn
When Anne Rice launched Interview with the Vampire, readers everywhere had to wonder: will Louis end this interview by literally ending the interviewer? No spoilers. I promise. But let’s just say—it’s always smart to know who (or what) you’re sitting down with, especially when you're all alone—and phoneless.
And when heartthrobs Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt starred in the 1994 film of the same title, I could not have been the only non-heartthrob viewer in the theater asking my date as we shared a bucket of popcorn and a jumbo-size soda, “Is this what Jon Bon Jovi meant when he sang you give love a bad name?” And even though that was our first and last date (go figure), I still wonder why violence is so celebrated. Killing with kindness? No thanks. Bring on some monster mania. We want the bloody masquerade catharsis.
Or do we?
Well…I bought the book, read the series, actually met Anne Rice for her autograph, and I did talk extensively about the movie around the company water cooler at the time. I was then and still am today—a die hard fan of survival. I like life. I love books from authors, films from movie stars, and Substacks from content creators —but I will never cheer about being eaten alive. Not my thing. That’s my red line.
You too?
In relation to my anthropomorphic posts, I, for one, decided almost immediately NOT to attempt interviewing a Dire Wolf. No brainer. Right? I may feel invisible at times when I publish certain posts and notes into the void, but I always say emphatically that I’m so glad I’m here. I DO NOT wish to become a ghost anytime soon.
Robert Hunter knows all about Dire Wolves turning human hopefuls into ghosts. Hunter wrote the lyrics for “Dire Wolf” after watching The Hound of the Baskervilles on TV during his own date (maybe, maybe not) with Mountain Girl. He handed the finished song to Jerry Garcia for a musical score, so the song could be performed by the Grateful Dead. From the beginning, Hunter’s poetry-for-music haunted Garcia. They were in San Francisco when the Zodiac killer was at large. They liked being alive.
As it turns out, the song’s narrator has become a ghost, and “the Dire Wolf collects his due while the boys sing ‘round the fire…” Imagine that scene—your own campfire, burning brightly in pitch black night. You hear the crackling wood. You feel the warmth of the flames. You relax, have a drink. S’mores anyone? Then you hear deep breathing. Out from the shadows, the de-extinct Dire Wolf bears his fangs.
Might make you want to examine more lyrics from enduring rock and roll bands.
“Don’t murder me…”
That’s the song’s appropriate chorus. Who wouldn’t totally agree? I empathize with Roy Batty in Bladerunner when he says, “I want more life.” I’m always truly excited to hear about new scientific discoveries, but I think Mary Shelley warned us about the potential dangers of overreaching science. Frankenstein. Why should we bring back a bone-crushing predator from the Ice Age? Well…we can’t. We didn’t.
More on that later.
For now, the Dire Wolf was considerable in size—between 125 and 175 pounds as compared to the modern gray wolf at 66 to 145 pounds. Slower, sure, but built like a freight train. It could theoretically reduce its prey to a red mist in a few seconds.
So here’s my next question: if we could bring back the ferocious beast… can we also give it a better brain? What if we engineered a Dire Wolf that could understand English? One that could reasonably interpret the Grateful Dead?
“Don’t murder me. I beg ya. Please don’t murder me.”
Maybe then—thanks to the band and the scientists—I could have my interview.
I don’t know. I might still prefer a Zoom call.
What Even Is a Dire Wolf (Canis dirus)?
For the longest time, I just assumed that the Dire Wolf was the biggest, baddest, heaviest, most scary, and most talked about wolf—ever. But I was wrong.
Here’s the long-awaited, shocking truth: Dire Wolves aren’t really wolves.
In 2021, scientists finally sequenced Dire Wolf DNA and discovered that these prehistoric beasts are not part of the gray wolf family tree. Not even close. They split off from a related gene pool about 5.7 million years ago. No interbreeding. No distant cousins. Just… lookalikes. Right fright. Wrong name.
Dire Wolves evolved separately, a case of convergent evolution—where two animals wind up looking similar without being related at all.
It’s like the Tasmanian tiger. Not a tiger. Not a dog. Just… a striped-back, pouch-bearing marsupial with a possible de-extinction ticket of its own as we speak.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed? I am. Let’s think about this. If Dire Wolves aren’t wolves, and Tasmanian tigers aren’t tigers, maybe we’re not really Homo sapiens either?
Time will tell, if time ever learns to talk. And in English!
Back in the Day… Dire Wolves Were GOATs (like my horses)
Let’s travel back 10,000 years.
The Dire Wolf basically ruled North and South America. It roamed the open plains and forests from Canada to Bolivia. And it turned lots of large animals into ghosts, instantly: bison, horses, North American camels, and giant ground sloths.
It wasn’t a long-distance runner like the gray wolf. It was a short-legged bruiser with a crushing bite and powerful jaws—made to ambush, not chase.
Was it smart? Not so much. Their skulls suggest a smaller brain than today’s wolves, but that didn’t stop them from thriving. They likely hunted in packs and were social—especially judging from the hundreds of fossils found in the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles.
Imagine that. You're stuck in tar. You howl. Your whole pack comes to rescue you. Now you’re all stuck in tar. That’s loyalty.
Besides Tar, What Killed Them?
Nearing the end of the Ice Age, it is believed that their favorite food sources began disappearing as the climate warmed and the megafauna vanished. Gray wolves adapted faster. Humans showed up with tools and…campfire.
Suddenly, being a big, powerful brute wasn’t enough.
And just like that, the Dire Wolf slipped away, out from time…forever.
What About De-Extinction?
The recent "de-extinction" of the Dire Wolf by Colossal Biosciences has sparked global discussion. The company announced the birth of three genetically modified wolf pups—Romulus, Remus, and Khaleesi—a partial revival of the extinct dire wolf species. Calling them “dire wolves” would not be accurate and could be misleading.
Colossal analyzed ancient DNA from dire wolf fossils in order to identify specific genetic traits. Then, the scientists successfully modified gray wolf DNA to show the fossilized characteristics. The newborn pups do exhibit dire wolf features, like larger size and distinct coloration. Given the incredible complexity of this achievement, these pups are in fact genetically modified gray wolves; they are not actually true dire wolves. According to UC Santa Cruz, “Colossal's team used pieces of the genetic code they uncovered in ancient dire wolf DNA samples to alter the genome of a common gray wolf to resemble that of its long-extinct cousin. The resulting pups are not exact replicas of their ancestors, but have many of their most distinctive traits.”
Beth Shapiro, chief science officer of Colossal, said the animals are "gray wolves with 20 edits," emphasizing that “dire wolves” is not a scientifically accurate colloquialism for the pups. With the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) also confirming that these animals are not true dire wolves, I still marvel at the incredible scientists who made these pups possible. Their lab work is absolutley amazing!
While Colossal's efforts represent a stunning advancement in genetic engineering and de-extinction science, the project reveals the complexities and ethical considerations that may emerge when attempting to resurrect an extinct species.
The Final Howl
The Dire Wolf once lived like the Ice Age’s bouncer. Big, bad, bone-crunching. But when the guest list changed and the mammoths left, the canine didn’t make the cut.
Should we bring back animals through de-extinction? What could happen if we resurrect mammoths? Saber-toothed cats? American lions? The whole crew?
Am I going to take my wife out to see Jurassic Park: The Untold True Story—or will we be taking the kids on a visit to the world’s first Pleistocene Zoo?
Either way, if we’re anywhere near a campfire, I’ll be sure to start singing…
“Don’t murder me.”
Thanks again for reading! I appreciate all Subscriber suggestions. Next time, we return to Limpet Land. Yes, again. Looking forward to it.
Cheers!
Author’s Note:
To be fully transparent, I independently researched this article using a range of informative sources linked throughout. The ideas, interpretations, and narrative voice are entirely my own. After completing the draft, I used ChatGPT as a language assistant to enhance clarity and flow. All final decisions regarding content, structure, and style reflect my own editorial judgment.
I share this in the spirit of honest writing—and to encourage thoughtful, discerning use of advanced tools. Thank you for reading. I welcome your comments.
Here’s how the pups are doing at 6 months: https://www.iflscience.com/colossals-dire-wolves-are-now-6-months-old-and-theyve-doubled-in-size-79776
I love the fact that you did a post on this. The Dire Wolves returning is what made me want to write the series the I have. I love Anne Rice with all of me. I am loving this whole post so much. You are talented.